Untreated individuals with personablity disorders are dependent on the compliance of others. They resist boundaries in an effort to control, manipulate and dominate. Non P.D.'s sometimes use boundaries in an effort to control, manipulate and dominate too. For example, we might be tempted to tell someone "You can NOT rage at me" or "You can NOT say cruel things to me" These aren't examples of boundaries, these are examples of a Non P.D.'s effort to control someone else's behaviour. A healthy boundary is "When you rage at me, I feel threatened. I am going to leave the room, the house, etc, until such time we can communicate calmly." The other person is free to rage to his/her heart's content, but you don't have to sit there and absorb all their anger and rage. If you are saying to yourself, "Why should I have to leave the room?" They should have to stop raging.", youu are looking at boundaries backwards. You are taking the same approach as one would take who says, "Oh no, my house is on fire and is engulfed in flames. I'm standing at the front door but I'm not going to leave the house because my new sprinkler system will turn on and put out the flames." Are you waiting for someone or something else to make a move so you don't have to? Are you willing to take a chance of getting burned?